Anyway,
I finally found the first level. There I am, swinging on vines,
climbing trees, having a great time, but getting nowhere. How
frustrating! I was almost in tears by the time I just gave up.
loony game over, pointed out a vine that I could climb, showed
me to Funky’s store where I bought a gun, showed me how to
aim and fire, and then basically took over the game until he suddenly
realized he already had a saved game which was much farther along
than mine. Two hours had passed and I just didn’t want to
look at it anymore. I couldn’t believe how disappointed I
was.
Still,
I hadn’t yet played Mario 64. I figured it would be
like all of the other Super Mario Bros. games I used to
play as a kid...just plain and simple fun. True to form, I found
myself in the midst of a brightly colored cartoon world with my
pudgy little plumber buddy trying to save Princess Toadstool.
Maybe it’s just my own perverted mind set, but I have to
wonder about the beginning of the game. The princess invites Mario
to her castle to eat a cake she just baked. Hmm...I wonder if
that’s all he’s going there for. Well, the dating habits
of video game characters aren’t any of my business, so I’ll
just let that thought die there.
Again,
I had some trouble navigating the 3-D landscape. Particularly
troublesome was the camera. I could never find the right angle.
Either I was too close or too far, and at times I couldn’t
see Mario at all through the trees and hills. I also got dizzy,
which was a surprise because I thought my bouts with simulator
sickness were a thing of the past. And there was this one feeling
that I couldn’t shake. Call it dejaz-vous if you want. I
just couldn’t help but feel that I’d played this game
before. Maybe I did, a couple of years ago on a visit to my brother
out west, but I doubt it. I didn’t have to learn how to do
anything new. I could already jump, run, pick things up, climb,
and everything else. It was just intuitive. Within half an hour
I had pretty much gotten the hang of moving around, and in spite
of getting lost a few times, I managed to diffuse the big Bob-omb
in the first level and win a star. For the first time since I
began writing this column, I actually saved a game so that I could
return to it later. That was really a momentous occasion.
Still,
there are a couple of drawbacks (in my book) to Mario 64.
For one thing, those pesky camera angles. Maybe that’s why
I got so dizzy, all that zooming in and out. But then there were
other things. The reason that I loved the old Super Mario Bros.
games is that they were so simple. You followed the screen
from left to right, jumping on enemies, hitting blocks, and collecting
coins. It was perfect simplicity. Although I like this next generation
of Mario games, I can’t help but notice that in adapting
the game to new technology, its creators had to leave that element
of simplicity behind. And it’s unfortunate. Not that this
is an extremely difficult game to play, but I just feel that there’s
something lacking.
I guess
that old cliche is true. You can’t go home again. You can
go to a place that looks like home, with familiar faces and names,
but something is always different. No matter how many improvements
developers make when they update old favorites to new tastes,
I can’t help but feel that some of the spirit has been lost.
I’ll never touch Donkey Kong 64 again. And while Mario
64 is a great game that I can’t wait to continue playing,
I long for the old one. So I think I’m just going to sit
in a corner tonight with my GameBoy Color and play Super Mario
Bros. until my thumbs hurt and it’s past my bedtime.
-Heather
"elki" Haselkorn
actually enjoys this.
