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Vol. 2, Issue 10
IIve been playing a lot of Counter-Strike lately, billed as a counter-terrorist mod for Half-Life. Its pretty cool and realistic, but Im not going to review it here. Instead, its prompted me to write up some nifty rules in the name of teamplay, and I thought Id share them with you. Most of these will be specific to Counter-Strike, some not. So without further ado, heres RadPipes 12 rules to good teamplay.1. When the round starts and you and your team are rushing to get into position, feel free to wail away on the guy in front of you with whatever weapon you have handy. Knives are good, as are pistols and rifles. Make that blood splatter real well. It hardly ever detracts their attention from the task at hand and it lets him know youre there and ready to back him up. Dont worry if Friendly Fire is turned on. Hell die happily knowing that his teammate has taken his place and is carrying on the battle. 2. Never ever take the time to learn and use pre-recorded messages. This will only detract your teammates from the task at end. Instead, run off to a dark corner of the map and type your message in. Be sure to request a response. 3. When your gun runs out of ammunition in the heat of battle, immediately retreat to the farthest point on the map to get more ammunition and/or reload. No sense in getting killed while you shove more bullets in your gun. 4. (Corollary to #3): When your teammates gun runs out of ammunition in the middle of a battle, immediately leave the area with all haste. No sense in getting killed when he cant cover you anymore. Those precious 2 seconds while he reloads could mean death. 5. If youre going to use an explosive device (say, a hand grenade), follow behind your teammates then throw it in their midst when they get into battle. This is exactly the kind of confusing move that will really foul up your enemy. As the enemy sits back and says, What was that?, you and your surviving teammates can rush in and clean up. 6. If you have to take a leak, get a drink, go for dinner, or head off to work, always make sure you get into the game first and join a team. Sure, your character will sit there for a while and do nothing, but you have to remember that you might not get a spot in the game if you wait. Dont worry that your team will be down a man. Just think of all the kills youll get after youve taken that big dump and feel all fresh and rejuvenated. 7. If your team is outnumbered (for whatever reason), quickly switch to the other team. Now your team will really outnumber the other team and youll really lay the smack down. 8. Camping is cool. Make it your prime function. Find the quietest, darkest little corner on the map and put up a tent. Dont shoot until you see the whites of their eyes. Its the coolest thing. And when everyone else on your team is dead and youre the only thing that stands between the enemy winning and a timeout draw, theyll thank you. Trust me. 9. Never ever check the scores menu. You might find that youre alone against the other team. And that would just make you nervous. 10. If you cant afford a good weapon at the start of the round then dont buy anything. Just follow one of your teammates that does have a good weapon and wait for him to die. Pow, youve got yourself a good weapon. 11. If you connect to a server where your ping isnt as good as it could be, complain like heck. Spam your teammates with This server/ping/team sucks messages for a good ten minutes before leaving to find a better one. Remember, communication is the key. If you dont tell them, maybe theyll never learn. Heck, maybe theyre in a similar situation but are shy and are waiting for someone else to bring it up. 12. If your team is just plain sucking, switch to the other one. Why should you suffer for their ineptness?
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